Assignment 4 – Dilni Abeyrathne

I strive to remain as much a part of my birth culture as I can while living in another land. As such, contradicting those long-held beliefs have becoming something of a fear for me, as I constantly worry that I would become more alien to my own culture if I let go of those beliefs. This may be called a disadvantageous attachment and I may be considered as stiff as a board when it comes to change. But, quite frankly, I prefer to remain that way. Change has always seemed so alien to me; I constantly fear that adhering to change would mean abandoning my culture and thus becoming a person who doesn’t recognize the uniqueness and value of her own birth customs and traditions. However, I can’t say that I haven’t questioned at least some beliefs.

One of those beliefs include the value of life. “Life is a beautiful journey”, “life is as sweet as chocolate”, and “life is a gift that should be cherished” are the thoughts that spring into my mind when I think of the view of life in my younger years. I was taught that life is precious, that it is a gift not to be taken lightly. And so, I began to contemplate these beliefs. Why is life so precious? Why is it a gift to be cherished? I remember those befuddling days quite well. I was in middle school when I first began to really question why life was held in such high regard, why it was considered “as sweet as chocolate”. This was during a time when schoolwork and other obligations took up most of my time. I began to wonder why life was so sweet when I had a mountain of work to do and little time to just sit peacefully, enjoying the moment as it was.

As I grew older, I began to contemplate the topic even more. I remember several instances where I would go through the general life of a person, from birth to death, analyzing all they might do in life and what reactions they may have. I recall one such instance well. First I thought of the early years, the time of the baby, when one was cared for extensively by their parents, not having to worry about much. Then came the school years. Immediately, I thought of the essays, the projects, the due dates, and all other manner of things relating to schoolwork. Although I enjoy learning very much, it goes without saying that sometimes one can be overwhelmed by the work associated with it. Next came the adult years, the years of working a job and trying to earn sufficient money to support oneself and one’s family. Finally, the senior years, where retirement is the norm and physical deterioration is common. The school years and adult years were the thoughts that demanded my thinking the most. Why learn for all those years and then have to work for several more years? Wasn’t there a time to just sit back and quietly enjoy life? To actually live? Truthfully, moments such as these scared me. I wasn’t sure why I was thinking of such deep topics instead of something normal, such as how wonderful a book was or my future career. Was I becoming strange? Was this normal? Am I the odd one out?

In hindsight, I probably wasn’t becoming a strange individual or the outsider of the population. I suppose this contemplation is a bump in the road of life, though not a terrible one. Although it certainly scared me, I feel that this challenge to the “life is sweet” norm has made me a much better person today. I have learned to enjoy those moments when I can just sit quietly, without the constant distractions of daily life, instead of focusing on how fast those moments go and yearning endlessly for the day when they come back. I also learned to focus on the positive side of life. Of course life can be fun, of course life can be sweet. I learned to cease holding onto life’s hindrances and instead simply live.

Presently, I still find myself contemplating life, striving to understand its workings. Instead of holding these thoughts at arm’s length, fearing that they might tear me apart forever (as I did earlier), I keep them close by, still analyzing, still learning. After all, these thoughts were the ones that spurred me on further in the rocky road of life.