Assignment 22 – Dilni Abeyrathne

        Everyone has a core to their being, be it a personality trait or a particular emotion, something that makes them who they are. For me, that thing is my encompassing silence.

       To some, silence is seen as a problem, something that should be rid of as soon as possible and replaced with a bright, social disposition. Perhaps it stems from fear or from boredom, but I do not hold that notion to be true. Silence is as much as part of me as any of my limbs are. I do not see it as a problem because that is simply who I am. However, there are no end to people who would delightfully point out my silence, making it comparable to a blight on a soul.

        It hurts me deeply when my silence is just up and pointed out so markedly. It is as if it is some problem that I need to be rid of. Let me remind you firmly that it is not a problem to me, nor should it be to anyone else.

      Even as I child, I was always quiet, most often sitting somewhere playing with my dolls or drawing something. Perhaps I learned it from my babysitter, who was quite silent herself. But, the fact remains that I am silent. It is a part of me that cannot be replaced nor destroyed. For me, silence represents much more than something to be rid of.

      My silence allows me to observe and reflect on what is around me. Such observations and reflection allow me to form a deeper view of the world and life, providing me with new insights every day. As such, I tend to listen more than I talk, processing everything in my mind before I utter a word. With my love of contemplation and reflection, my silent disposition has afforded me the ability to observe and make connections, rather than talk and attempt to keep my mouth and mind in sync.

         Perhaps this makes me seem emotionless sometimes and that is something I cannot change. I do admit that I tend to express little emotion day to day. Even at home, I keep to myself, rarely speaking for extended periods of time with my family. However, this is not due to hatred on my part – I simply prefer staying silent. I love the moments of reflection is affords me, and these moments are what helped me become the individual I am today.

        Of course, I will talk when the need arises, but don’t expect me to start speaking every moment of the day. That, my friend, is an event that will probably never transpire. In addition, my silence also stems from a physical aspect, one that I have referred to in one of my earlier blog posts: getting winded. If I speak too much at one time, I tend to run out of breath quite quickly, leaving my mouth dry and my lungs somewhat taxed. However, this does not keep me from speaking when I need to nor speaking to my friends. They of course know how to keep me talking when they are with me, and when they have succeeded, I glimpse their delighted little smiles.

         Indeed, silence is the core of my being, affording me time for reflection and observation. It is an integral part of me, as most probably know, and is a part I dare not abandon.

         After all, sometimes silence speaks louder than words.